tHe aLeXaNdErS

This pregnancy has been a doozy to put it lightly. On top of all the hormones, sickness, and every other blissful thing that happens to your body during pregnancy I have just a few more to add to the list. My poor family has sacrificed so much. I have been on parshall bed rest now for almost two months now and last Friday my doctor told me that I'm now three centimeters and the baby is soooo low I can go into labor any second. My due date is April 5Th but he thinks I won’t last. FEW...although I really want my mom here with me. she flies in march 23rd. We shall see if the baby will hold that long. I want to "nest" to clean the house wash baby clothes, organize and rearrange, make room, shop and prepare for baby. But foreal I can’t walk more than 10 feet before I need to sit. Bending standing, moving at all hurts. I can hardly make a meal with out sitting in a chair. I cant pick up my 20lb one year old:( and don't even think about trying to pick up Kaleb. Although he still asks me to every single day with the hopes that I will. I'm on pain killers that make me sleepy on top of already being tiered because all I can do is lay down or sit. and the only time I'm not in pain is when I'm sleeping and not coherent. I have internal injuries that happened during my first delivery that I was not informed about until about 2 months ago...I thought I was just a huge wimp. I always envied other women that could work up until the day they deliver. Or those who aggressively work out during pregnancy and just glow with energy. I couldn't understand why I always hurt so much. I finally found a doctor and physical therapist that could answer my questions. I have torn round ligaments, a shifted pubic bone and hips, incorrect healing, a caved in or whatever its called uterus floor, possible herniated disks and a sciatic nerve that HATES me. And this all with out x-rays and a MRI because they can’t do that obviously right now. It feels like skin is the only thing keeping the baby in and I can’t believe how sensitive every move of the baby is...it feels like its trying to rip out of me in all directions. a good night sleep is impossible. And I have been having contractions for months now and have back labor pains that are so intense. I have a belly support belt that helps my back most days but contradicts with my stomach pain. I have been asked by my doctors and my therapist when it was that I got in a car accident. :/ ahhhhhh!!! This has been so tuff. Giving birth will take care of most issues but then I have corrections I'm told need to be taking care of afterward... BUT the baby is perfect and oblivious to it all! Hopefully I'm not putting to much stress on the sweet babe. Because It sure is depressing not being able to be myself, play with my children and take care of my family. I sure can’t wait to meet him or her in more ways than one. It's so fun having an older child that can actually be exited and understand that a baby is coming. Kaleb talks to the baby and gives my belly kisses. He thinks of names like right now he likes Buzz, Woody, Harry Potter and Astrid if its a girl (the girl on "How to Train Your Dragon" haha I'm so grateful to my ward family and friends for bring us dinners taking my kids and cleaning my house. Craig sure has been such a BIG help with everything!!! He is so supportive physically and emotionally as well. My boys have been so patient with me. It's a bummer things have been so difficult. I truly appreciate the things that I use to take for granted. Having a strong healthy body, energy and mobility! Being able to cook, clean play and MOVE! Soon....so soon.